Everyday Enlightenment Book Summary

Everyday Enlightenment by Dan Millman Summary

“Self-worth is not a thing; it is a perception. Just as a gymnast begins a routine with ten points and receives deductions for each mistake, so you began life with a natural, complete sense of worth.

(Have you ever met an infant with self-worth issues?) But as you grow, you serve as your own judge, deducting points when you misunderstand the nature of living, and learning—when you forget you are a human-in-training and that making mistakes and having slips of integrity and mediocre moments are a part of life, not unforgivable sins.”

“It’s important to note that the most sensitive, self-reflective souls among us—those of us with the highest vision, ideals, and standards—often have the lowest sense of self-worth, because we constantly fail to meet our idealized standards. Maybe that’s why George Bernard Shaw once remarked that ‘the ignorant are cocksure and the intelligent full of doubt.’”
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“You are no more or less worthy than any other person or part of reality. Your sense of worth grows by doing what is worthy. But you do not have to feel worthy; you need only treat yourself as you would a loved one or honored guest, ending self-destructive behaviors or cycles of self-sabotage, opening to life’s opportunities.”

“Everything is easier said than done. But no matter how intelligent or talented you are, only your actions shape your destiny. To fulfill the promise of the second gateway, you need to know, and act upon, only three magic words: Just do it.”

“Make any positive behavior as convenient as possible. To break my habit of snacking in the evenings, I keep dental floss and a toothbrush in the downstairs bathroom near the kitchen. Right after dinner I floss and brush. I’m far less likely to snack, because if I eat something, I have to floss and brush all over again.

Make any negative behavior as inconvenient as possible. To smoke less, keep only one pack of cigarettes at home, in a small locked safe under some luggage in the closet in the garage. You might also put the television in that same closet, so you take it out only for special events, and use your old TV time writing that book, painting that picture, or learning a new language. In this way you replace old negative routines with new behaviors, pouring new energy into a new you.”

“Master yourself—your habits and tendencies—and you can accomplish what you will.”

“Most of us have heard the saying ‘Carpe Diem’—​. A valuable reminder to live fully, but not a realistic idea, since you cannot seize the day. You can seize only the moment—this moment.

The quality of your moments produces the quality of your life. So, as thoughts come and go and the waves of mind rush on, Carpe punctum—Seize this moment. It deserves your full attention, for it will not pass your way again.”

“When motivation lags, your willpower takes over. You use your will when you stop waiting to feel motivated. Life has always come down to this: The ripest fruit grows on the highest limbs of the tree of life. To pick the fruit you make the climb, step by step, day by day.”

“Dar Robinson, one of the greatest modern-day daredevils, was terrified—practically scared to death—with each and every stunt. His heart leaped from his chest; he had to consciously control his rapid breathing; he sweated, he trembled, just like the rest of us—then he did what he had set out to do. This is what you and I can do in everyday life.”

“Your major battles with fear are not outside you; they lurk inside, in the caverns of the psyche, in the arena of psychological survival and dark imaginings, where fear shape-shifts into subtle guises such as self-doubt, insecurity, lack of confidence, shyness, inhibition, timidity—a reluctance to assert, express, or even be yourself.

Whatever form fear takes, your willingness to face it squarely will determine your fate in the high country of human potential.”

“Fear is a chameleon that can be a wise guide in one moment and a terrible tyrant the next. Respect fear, but never let it be your master. If physical danger is involved, listen well; if psychological danger challenges you, then do what you most fear—live as a peaceful warrior.”

“Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering.

​Stress happens when your mind resists what is. If your spouse or lover leaves you, the amount of stress or suffering each of you experiences depends upon the meanings each of you places on the event.

If you believe it to be good, that you are not free, you suffer less; if you believe it is bad, that you are now alone, you suffer more. The only problem in your life is your mind’s resistance to life as it unfolds.”

“Of course, we don’t love painful feelings like anxiety or depression. We don’t have to love or even like them, but we do have to accept them, as difficult as that can seem at times.

Emotions, no matter how painful they are, are not the problem. The problem is dropping out of school or work, putting your family or duties of life on hold until such time as you can work out your emotional issues. Would you rather feel depressed while sitting alone in your room trying to figure it all out or feel depressed while getting your house cleaned or your project completed? (You may still feel depressed, but you have a cleaner house.)

The heart of accepting your emotions (and, as you’ve seen, of reclaiming your will) is to do what you need to do despite what you are feeling. Accept and learn from your feelings, but don’t let them run your life. By remaining productive during difficult emotional episodes, you are more likely to improve your emotional state than if you do nothing but ruminate and wait for sunny skies.”

“The most constructive way to influence your emotions is to do something.”

“Accept emotions completely, let your feelings be; just don’t let them run your life.”

“Life without emotions would be as calm as death, like a world without weather. Accept feelings as they are; pleasant or painful, they are natural and don’t need fixing. Let them rise and pass without allowing changeable emotions to run your life.”

“No one feels the same way all the time. Even if you are angry, depressed, crazy, afraid, or grieving, you’ll have moments when you are distracted. There are no enlightened people, no nice, bad, smart, neurotic, or stupid people, either—only people with more (or less) enlightened, nice, bad, smart, neurotic, or stupid moments.”

“One of the strangest delusions believed by many of us is that it is good to love other people but bad to love yourself. I suggest that the more you are able to see, love, and accept the one facet of Spirit gazing at you from the mirror, the more you will be able to love Spirit within others.

If we are the same awareness shining through a billion separate forms, then all love begins with self-love. For the heart to awaken, it cannot exclude a single soul, including yourself. If you do not love yourself, how can you find the space to love others?”

“As you transcend your own limitations and tendencies, you will naturally show loving-kindness to others. As your own light shines more brightly, you illuminate the world.”

“Find a form of service that calls to you, that suits your abilities, aptitudes, qualities, and interests, that makes time fly, that draws forth your best, that tells you you’ve arrived home and found yourself.”

“When you have seen what there is to see, when life has revealed you to yourself as you are, your search becomes how best to serve. Life itself—your work, family, and every interaction—is a chance to serve, to connect, to find meaning in the moment and purpose in the play.”

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